Public speaking stage fright is mind numbing. It can stop you from giving presentations, from advancing your career and from getting your ideas and experience known. And, it can leave you terrified of giving a presentation in public.
The symptoms are well known: blushing, sweating, heart pounding, shaking, a dry mouth, belly butterflies, trips to the toilet, a fear of going blank, a fear of losing your place, paralysis, panic, anxiety, and more. If you get these problems prior to giving a speech or during a speech no wonder you have a fear of public speaking.
However, public speaking phobia can be overcome and stage fright cured. Here are just five of the many steps that may help you. They have been selected from interviews with seven women on the CD set "Confidence for women in public speaking". They can apply to you too.
Persist in searching for your trigger of success.In order to cure your stage fright you need to search for the best technique for you. There is no one right method that cures everyone. For example, on the public speaking CDs one of the women, Sam, overcame her stage fright by using a new breathing technique, which kept her body from seizing up and allowed her to control her voice and nerves. Another woman, Amy, needed a completely different type of help, she discovered that when she replayed positive music memories to herself, that they put her in the right frame of mind so she could face a crowd without a fear of blushing. For Melissa it was different again, what worked for her was sending feelings of compassion and kindness to her anticipated audience. All three had huge boosts in public speaking confidence and overcame their public speaking phobia. Each did it in a different way. Search for the right trigger for you.
Challenge your thoughts. Many people generate catastrophic thoughts about all the things that may go wrong if they have to give a presentation, and this makes them afraid to speak in public. However, these things rarely, if ever, happen. Amy, for example, a journalist in her mid-twenties, thought there was a significant danger of her falling over flat on her face. I asked her how many speakers she had seen fall over – none! How many speakers had she seen that were flat on their face – none! I asked her how many times she thought that I, as a professional speaker, had fallen over – none! She needed to challenge her thinking and ditch the junk. Do you? Do not believe something just because you think it. Just because you think something it doesn’t make it right or true. Our thoughts can dream up absolute nonsense and make it seem real when it isn’t. Our thoughts can be lies. Test your thoughts.
Become comfortable with anxiety – don't add fear of anxiety on top of the anxiety. One of the major problems with stage fright is being frightened of the anxiety itself. Sam, an IT manager in her early forties, was like this. She was so anxious of anxiety that this was worse than the anxiety or public speaking itself. She had added fear on top of fear. It is a great way to set stage fright in concrete so it feels as though it will always be there. I therefore suggested to Sam that a big step for her was to stop fearing the anxiety and to learn to feel comfortable with it. One way I got her to do this was to start talking to herself about her anxiety symptoms as if she was a professor studying them. For example, when she was sweating she could become curious about where all the water comes from. Does she keep a water well under her arm pit for the occasion or does it get taken from her bladder, and anyway how much will she sweat, will it be one litre or two? As I began talking like this Sam actually ended up laughing about her anxiety. Laughter is a great antidote for anxiety and fear. Learn to feel comfortable with anxiety and your anxiety will lessen. I have also used this technique very successfully to overcome severe panic attacks.
Remember and recall snap shots of confidence.Stage fright can lessen when you concentrate on the good times. Whenever you are feeling good, happy or confident take a snap shot of it in your mind. Remember all the details of it. Remember how you look, stand and feel when you are relaxed and confident. Remember how you speak, breathe and talk when you are happy and confident. Remember the colours, the sounds, and the feelings. Then revisit the snap shots over and over again. Replay them in your mind so often that you can go to them quickly and automatically. Concentrate on these while you are preparing a speech, rehearsing a speech, when you are travelling to a speech and while you wait to speak. In one of my snap shots I am standing by a new pond we'd built watching a dragonfly land for the first time on it. I was in raptures to think that the dragonfly had found our pond already. It was so beautiful with long lace wings and a blue body – and me? My smile reached right across my teeth, my eyes were bright and I was singing in my heart. I went to an after-dinner speech later that week and I imagined the dragonfly on the microphone. No stage fright had a chance because I was as happy as if I was still standing by the pond. If you remember and recall your snap shots of confidence as you stand at the lectern or microphone your stage fright won't stay either.
Transfer your skills. We are all confident somewhere in our lives. We are less confident in others. No-one has 100% confidence. No-one has 100% stage fright when speaking to people. Amy, for example, said she could easily manage to speak to three people without blushing, being anxious or worrying about being looked at. However, she also said she couldn’t speak in public to a large group. I asked her how big the group had to be before the problem became serious, and she said six! If I suggested to Amy that she spoke to nine she froze and became paralysed with stage fright. Realistically there is not a lot of difference between three, six or nine – they are all small groups. All Amy had to do was to work out what she did when speaking to a group of three and do the same when she spoke to six, nine or ninety. She simply needed to transfer her skills across to the larger group. The same may apply to you. There will be something that you can do with people that does not produce the symptoms of stage fright, whether it is talking to people at a dinner party, meeting people networking, or speaking out at a meeting. Learn what you do there. What do you say to yourself? Where do you look? How do you stand? Then transfer the skills you have to public speaking.
Say goodbye to stage fright. Your confidence is already there waiting for you.
The symptoms are well known: blushing, sweating, heart pounding, shaking, a dry mouth, belly butterflies, trips to the toilet, a fear of going blank, a fear of losing your place, paralysis, panic, anxiety, and more. If you get these problems prior to giving a speech or during a speech no wonder you have a fear of public speaking.
However, public speaking phobia can be overcome and stage fright cured. Here are just five of the many steps that may help you. They have been selected from interviews with seven women on the CD set "Confidence for women in public speaking". They can apply to you too.
Persist in searching for your trigger of success.In order to cure your stage fright you need to search for the best technique for you. There is no one right method that cures everyone. For example, on the public speaking CDs one of the women, Sam, overcame her stage fright by using a new breathing technique, which kept her body from seizing up and allowed her to control her voice and nerves. Another woman, Amy, needed a completely different type of help, she discovered that when she replayed positive music memories to herself, that they put her in the right frame of mind so she could face a crowd without a fear of blushing. For Melissa it was different again, what worked for her was sending feelings of compassion and kindness to her anticipated audience. All three had huge boosts in public speaking confidence and overcame their public speaking phobia. Each did it in a different way. Search for the right trigger for you.
Challenge your thoughts. Many people generate catastrophic thoughts about all the things that may go wrong if they have to give a presentation, and this makes them afraid to speak in public. However, these things rarely, if ever, happen. Amy, for example, a journalist in her mid-twenties, thought there was a significant danger of her falling over flat on her face. I asked her how many speakers she had seen fall over – none! How many speakers had she seen that were flat on their face – none! I asked her how many times she thought that I, as a professional speaker, had fallen over – none! She needed to challenge her thinking and ditch the junk. Do you? Do not believe something just because you think it. Just because you think something it doesn’t make it right or true. Our thoughts can dream up absolute nonsense and make it seem real when it isn’t. Our thoughts can be lies. Test your thoughts.
Become comfortable with anxiety – don't add fear of anxiety on top of the anxiety. One of the major problems with stage fright is being frightened of the anxiety itself. Sam, an IT manager in her early forties, was like this. She was so anxious of anxiety that this was worse than the anxiety or public speaking itself. She had added fear on top of fear. It is a great way to set stage fright in concrete so it feels as though it will always be there. I therefore suggested to Sam that a big step for her was to stop fearing the anxiety and to learn to feel comfortable with it. One way I got her to do this was to start talking to herself about her anxiety symptoms as if she was a professor studying them. For example, when she was sweating she could become curious about where all the water comes from. Does she keep a water well under her arm pit for the occasion or does it get taken from her bladder, and anyway how much will she sweat, will it be one litre or two? As I began talking like this Sam actually ended up laughing about her anxiety. Laughter is a great antidote for anxiety and fear. Learn to feel comfortable with anxiety and your anxiety will lessen. I have also used this technique very successfully to overcome severe panic attacks.
Remember and recall snap shots of confidence.Stage fright can lessen when you concentrate on the good times. Whenever you are feeling good, happy or confident take a snap shot of it in your mind. Remember all the details of it. Remember how you look, stand and feel when you are relaxed and confident. Remember how you speak, breathe and talk when you are happy and confident. Remember the colours, the sounds, and the feelings. Then revisit the snap shots over and over again. Replay them in your mind so often that you can go to them quickly and automatically. Concentrate on these while you are preparing a speech, rehearsing a speech, when you are travelling to a speech and while you wait to speak. In one of my snap shots I am standing by a new pond we'd built watching a dragonfly land for the first time on it. I was in raptures to think that the dragonfly had found our pond already. It was so beautiful with long lace wings and a blue body – and me? My smile reached right across my teeth, my eyes were bright and I was singing in my heart. I went to an after-dinner speech later that week and I imagined the dragonfly on the microphone. No stage fright had a chance because I was as happy as if I was still standing by the pond. If you remember and recall your snap shots of confidence as you stand at the lectern or microphone your stage fright won't stay either.
Transfer your skills. We are all confident somewhere in our lives. We are less confident in others. No-one has 100% confidence. No-one has 100% stage fright when speaking to people. Amy, for example, said she could easily manage to speak to three people without blushing, being anxious or worrying about being looked at. However, she also said she couldn’t speak in public to a large group. I asked her how big the group had to be before the problem became serious, and she said six! If I suggested to Amy that she spoke to nine she froze and became paralysed with stage fright. Realistically there is not a lot of difference between three, six or nine – they are all small groups. All Amy had to do was to work out what she did when speaking to a group of three and do the same when she spoke to six, nine or ninety. She simply needed to transfer her skills across to the larger group. The same may apply to you. There will be something that you can do with people that does not produce the symptoms of stage fright, whether it is talking to people at a dinner party, meeting people networking, or speaking out at a meeting. Learn what you do there. What do you say to yourself? Where do you look? How do you stand? Then transfer the skills you have to public speaking.
Say goodbye to stage fright. Your confidence is already there waiting for you.
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