How to Cure of Blushing

One thing is for sure, Amy had told Rachel from the start that she could not speak to more than three people without becoming paralysed with fright and blushing badly. However, after her session she wrote to tell Rachel that she had ended up singing in front of 100 and was over her blushing. This is fact. Yes! But how was Amy able to ditch her blushing? Here's how ...
Amy told Rachel that she had already tried visualisation techniques and positive affirmations, without success. She complained that these techniques weren't practical enough for her. She had resigned herself to the idea that "this is how I am", and "I'm never going to be able to speak confidently in public". Sure enough, Amy did not find it easy to produce visual pictures in her mind. However, Rachel discovered that there was a successful alternative. It was a major breakthrough! Amy liked music and she could use this instead. What Rachel found was that not only did Amy enjoy music but also she could easily replay it in her mind, and when she did her feelings changed remarkably. Rachel encouraged Amy to go through some of her favourite musical memories. Amy remembered a particular time when she was sitting with her partner at the back of a concert hall listening to a beautiful piece of music over a glass of wine. As Amy recaptures this romantic musical moment you can hear her change: her voice softens and she relaxes. This was HER trigger for confidence. Once she had identified this music memory all she had to do was to keep replaying it in her mind whenever she thought of speaking in public. It put her in the right frame of mind so she could face a crowd without any fear of blushing. No, visualisations didn't work for her, but romantic music memories did. The trigger for her confidence was similar to visualisations but done in a different way to suit her. Overcoming stage fright can be as easy as that, Amy proved it. It really works!If you are not quite sure how it works or applies to you, no problem! The "Confidence for women in public speaking" CDs will make it crystal clear. They go through Amy's progress each step of the way until you hear her confidence blossom. What a huge difference this made to her and her career options. She was over her blushing and had never before imagined it was possible. But best of all this progress could be your progress.

Five Ways to Cure Your Public Speaking Stage Fright

Public speaking stage fright is mind numbing. It can stop you from giving presentations, from advancing your career and from getting your ideas and experience known. And, it can leave you terrified of giving a presentation in public.
The symptoms are well known: blushing, sweating, heart pounding, shaking, a dry mouth, belly butterflies, trips to the toilet, a fear of going blank, a fear of losing your place, paralysis, panic, anxiety, and more. If you get these problems prior to giving a speech or during a speech no wonder you have a fear of public speaking.
However, public speaking phobia can be overcome and stage fright cured. Here are just five of the many steps that may help you. They have been selected from interviews with seven women on the CD set "Confidence for women in public speaking". They can apply to you too.
Persist in searching for your trigger of success.In order to cure your stage fright you need to search for the best technique for you. There is no one right method that cures everyone. For example, on the public speaking CDs one of the women, Sam, overcame her stage fright by using a new breathing technique, which kept her body from seizing up and allowed her to control her voice and nerves. Another woman, Amy, needed a completely different type of help, she discovered that when she replayed positive music memories to herself, that they put her in the right frame of mind so she could face a crowd without a fear of blushing. For Melissa it was different again, what worked for her was sending feelings of compassion and kindness to her anticipated audience. All three had huge boosts in public speaking confidence and overcame their public speaking phobia. Each did it in a different way. Search for the right trigger for you.
Challenge your thoughts. Many people generate catastrophic thoughts about all the things that may go wrong if they have to give a presentation, and this makes them afraid to speak in public. However, these things rarely, if ever, happen. Amy, for example, a journalist in her mid-twenties, thought there was a significant danger of her falling over flat on her face. I asked her how many speakers she had seen fall over – none! How many speakers had she seen that were flat on their face – none! I asked her how many times she thought that I, as a professional speaker, had fallen over – none! She needed to challenge her thinking and ditch the junk. Do you? Do not believe something just because you think it. Just because you think something it doesn’t make it right or true. Our thoughts can dream up absolute nonsense and make it seem real when it isn’t. Our thoughts can be lies. Test your thoughts.
Become comfortable with anxiety – don't add fear of anxiety on top of the anxiety. One of the major problems with stage fright is being frightened of the anxiety itself. Sam, an IT manager in her early forties, was like this. She was so anxious of anxiety that this was worse than the anxiety or public speaking itself. She had added fear on top of fear. It is a great way to set stage fright in concrete so it feels as though it will always be there. I therefore suggested to Sam that a big step for her was to stop fearing the anxiety and to learn to feel comfortable with it. One way I got her to do this was to start talking to herself about her anxiety symptoms as if she was a professor studying them. For example, when she was sweating she could become curious about where all the water comes from. Does she keep a water well under her arm pit for the occasion or does it get taken from her bladder, and anyway how much will she sweat, will it be one litre or two? As I began talking like this Sam actually ended up laughing about her anxiety. Laughter is a great antidote for anxiety and fear. Learn to feel comfortable with anxiety and your anxiety will lessen. I have also used this technique very successfully to overcome severe panic attacks.
Remember and recall snap shots of confidence.Stage fright can lessen when you concentrate on the good times. Whenever you are feeling good, happy or confident take a snap shot of it in your mind. Remember all the details of it. Remember how you look, stand and feel when you are relaxed and confident. Remember how you speak, breathe and talk when you are happy and confident. Remember the colours, the sounds, and the feelings. Then revisit the snap shots over and over again. Replay them in your mind so often that you can go to them quickly and automatically. Concentrate on these while you are preparing a speech, rehearsing a speech, when you are travelling to a speech and while you wait to speak. In one of my snap shots I am standing by a new pond we'd built watching a dragonfly land for the first time on it. I was in raptures to think that the dragonfly had found our pond already. It was so beautiful with long lace wings and a blue body – and me? My smile reached right across my teeth, my eyes were bright and I was singing in my heart. I went to an after-dinner speech later that week and I imagined the dragonfly on the microphone. No stage fright had a chance because I was as happy as if I was still standing by the pond. If you remember and recall your snap shots of confidence as you stand at the lectern or microphone your stage fright won't stay either.
Transfer your skills. We are all confident somewhere in our lives. We are less confident in others. No-one has 100% confidence. No-one has 100% stage fright when speaking to people. Amy, for example, said she could easily manage to speak to three people without blushing, being anxious or worrying about being looked at. However, she also said she couldn’t speak in public to a large group. I asked her how big the group had to be before the problem became serious, and she said six! If I suggested to Amy that she spoke to nine she froze and became paralysed with stage fright. Realistically there is not a lot of difference between three, six or nine – they are all small groups. All Amy had to do was to work out what she did when speaking to a group of three and do the same when she spoke to six, nine or ninety. She simply needed to transfer her skills across to the larger group. The same may apply to you. There will be something that you can do with people that does not produce the symptoms of stage fright, whether it is talking to people at a dinner party, meeting people networking, or speaking out at a meeting. Learn what you do there. What do you say to yourself? Where do you look? How do you stand? Then transfer the skills you have to public speaking.
Say goodbye to stage fright. Your confidence is already there waiting for you.

How to Sound Confident in Public Speaking

If you are nervous when speaking in public and prone to stage fright you may sound hesitant, unsure or flustered. Your voice may tremble; you may speak too quietly; or mumble and rush through your speech too quickly. Here are some tips for you, therefore, on how to sound confident when public speaking. When you sound confident the audience is more likely to take note of what you have to say.

Make your diction clear. Precise, clear diction suggests decisiveness and confidence. Therefore, put effort and energy into your diction. There are particular sounds, such as t/d/k, which, when spoken at the end of your words, need to be crisp and clear in order for you to project confidence easily. For example, practise saying "Bake the cake", with the final K sounds being crisp. When people are nervous they tend not to form their words well. In contrast, when people are confident they do tend to form their words well. So if you speak clearly you will sound confident.

Maintain your voice volume. Confident people can be heard easily. If you speak too quietly people may think you are nervous even if you aren't. Or they may think that what you say is not important. Keep your volume up. Be easy to hear. Don't be afraid of the sound of your own voice. Speak up. Sound confident. If you find it hard to project your voice then order a microphone, or go and see a speech and drama teacher to learn how to project it more easily. Whatever you do, make it easy for your audience to hear what you are saying. An audience does not want to strain to hear you. Add volume to your voice and you will add confidence to your speech.

Pause. Don't rush through your speech. Pause, and pause often. It may seem like an eternity to you but to the audience a pause can provide the time they need to absorb and take in what you are saying. The general rule is the bigger the audience the longer your pauses need to be. Confident people pause and look comfortable during the silence. Pause and the audience will think you are confident whether you are or not.

Come to a full stop/period.Instead of rushing through your speech or presentation, clearly separate out one sentence from another. Sometimes people, when they are nervous, fail to come to a full stop/period at the end of a sentence. Instead, they insert an "um" or "er" between phrases or sentences and everything they say gets joined together. This lowers the impact that your speech will have on the audience. Trust that what you have said has been good enough and stop. Then wait before starting your next sentence. Do not fill in the space between sentences with anything other than silence. Confident people are comfortable with silence. The silence is your thinking time. Give yourself thinking time. Stop at the full stops/periods.

Control your speech rate. Nervous speech is usually fast speech. I have seen some speakers appear breathless because they are in such a hurry to get their speeches or presentations "out of the way" or "over with". Confident speech is often well-paced. Some confident speakers even speak quite slowly. They place importance on their words by slowing their speech down. The words that are said more slowly would often be considered the most important ones. Don't throw away the significant messages that you have by speaking quickly. Modulate your speech so that you sound confident and your words sound important.

Have an inflection that varies.It is very easy to flatten your voice out when you are nervous so it becomes a flat, boring monotone. Don't do this. Keep variety in your voice. Modulate your words so that the pitch of your voice goes up and down. In other words put "light and shade" into what you are saying. If you have something important to say make it sound important and interesting. A voice with modulation is more interesting than a monotone and will make you sound more confident.

Drop your voice at the end of a sentence.

When you are uncertain your voice may go up at the end of a sentence. An upward or rising inflection in the voice is usually used for asking questions. When your inflection goes up at the end of a sentence when it is not a question, i.e. when you are making a statement or giving a command, you are likely to sound uncertain or open to negotiation. Your so called "command" will sound like an option. For example, if you watch a TV newsreader, listen to what they do at the end of a sentence. If they want to sound confident and to make the news have authority and importance they go down at the end. I used to train the TV newsreaders to read the news – and they were certainly not allowed to go up at the end, not even when it was good or exciting news. Drop your voice at the end of a sentence for extra authority and confidence.

How to Overcome Your Public Speaking Fears

A key tip to overcome your public speaking stage fright
You probably already know the symptoms of public speaking stage fright. Blushing, shaking, sweating, butterflies in your stomach, nervousness, pounding heart, fear, and more. The good news is that these symptoms can be reduced dramatically so you can be calm and relaxed when presenting and speaking in public.
What you think, imagine and do can increase or decrease your nervousness. What could you possibly do that makes you nervous?
The commonest thing is that you spend your time saying negative things to yourself about how dreadful the experience will be, how many difficult questions you will get, that you'll go blank, that they are all looking at you, that they're out to trip you up, or even that you will trip up! Yes! I had one women I interviewed recently who was terrified of public speaking and she had convinced herself that she would trip up. Thinking like this paralysed her.Do you think like this? Do you think that successful speakers think like this? No of course not. Such thinking makes public speaking so much harder. So what can you do to overcome this kind of destructive, nerve producing thinking?
Know what you are thinking.
When it is negative - challenge your thinking.
Think like a confident speaker thinks.
You can challenge your thinking - what you think may well not be the truth. You don't have to believe it. The woman who was scared of tripping up learnt to challenge her thinking. She asked herself where is the evidence that I will trip up? What is the worst thing that will happen if I do? How many times have I tripped up? None. How many times have I seen other speakers trip up? None. By challenging her thinking like this she came to the conclusion that her thinking was the only thing likely to trip her up! That she was thinking nonsense. That it was her thinking making her frightened not the experience itself.
After changing her thinking she was able to move from only being able to present to a maximum of 3 people to singing Karaoke in front of a 100 really well!
When you say these kinds of things to yourself you are making your anxiety, panic or stage fright worse. Such thinking kills public speaking confidence.
Thankfully, it is possible to change this kind of thinking and think like a confident presenter.

PUBLIC SPEAKING TIPS

Key Message For You
Successful public speaking is a skill that can be learnt. Even if you are shy and nervous, new to it, or have technical topics to present, you can learn how to overcome your fear of public speaking, calm your nerves, and even enjoy speaking in public!
And you can learn how to get your message across in a compelling and interesting way so that your audience is never bored and they hang off the edge of their seats wanting to listen. The following tips will show you how you can learn the presentation skills you need, one step at a time.

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